You get what you vote for.

It has been a busy year. I haven’t written anything of length or substance for some time. I can make the casual excuses of work, family obligations, or some nebulous drain on my time but — as I am prone to saying when others make excuses — “if it were important, you would make time for it.”

I can take my own medicine.

So here we are, in 2024, and I was musing on a conversation I was having with a lady friend of mine. If you know me, you know that I am not one to spare feelings when asked about my opinion. I will not offer an unsolicited opinion, because that is what assholes do and I try to keep my assholery to a minimum. My friend asked me, in an off-handed “why can’t I find a decent man?”

Whooo boy. My expression must have given the game away, because she immediately inquired about my thoughts on the subject. Now, my first tack was to tell her what her issues were, personally. I opted against that for a number of reasons, the foremost being that even if I gave her that specific feedback, it would not be constructive as her personal issues are so ingrained into her at this point that she would not be willing to change them even if it got her a husband tonight.

So I instead opted to discuss why the general field of men aren’t meeting her standards by starting with the Socratic method. I asked her “well, what kind of man are you looking for” knowing exactly her dating history and the types of men she chooses. Her responses were the usual hackneyed ones of “he needs to be emotionally available, loyal, sensitive” and a bunch of blah blah bullshit that most women are socially programmed to say. I let her finish then asked her about the various men we know who fit that exact category that she never even tried to date.

And the excuses came out, and all of them could roughly be translated to “but I don't find those guys attractive.” And this led me to discussing the idea that the men that she sees are the men that she (and women, generally) have voted for. I purposely chose that word — vote — because that is exactly what has happened. Women have decided through their actions — who they choose to date, fuck, and bear children for — the kind of men that we choose to shape ourselves to be. The men they choose are the men that we look at and say “Him. He is doing something right, and if I want to fuck, I have to be like that.”

Some men get it right away and take the steps necessary. Some men see what they need to do but aren’t willing to make the sacrifices necessary to become the kind of men that women want (and they become resentful having seen the promised land but being unable to cross into it). Some men are unable to grasp it and continue their existence believing the PR campaign that women have put out, continuing to develop traits that women do not place value in (i.e. loyalty, sensitivity, patience, etc).

So, what have women voted for? They have voted for physical attractiveness above all. Now, I do not fault women for this. After all, we all want what we want. Men also select for physical attractiveness (the only difference is that we are open about it and do not delude women into thinking that it is a trait that doesn't matter or is secondary). When a woman says “I want a guy who will treat me nice” what they actually mean is “I want a man that I am attracted to who will treat me nice.”

Women have to be attracted to you before anything else is taken into consideration and, if you are attractive, you will beat out other men who are better in those other areas because they will not get a chance.

Women have voted, en masse, for men who are tall, muscular, and financially well-off. They care about how sensitive you are after all that. They care about your loyalty after all that. Honestly, if you are tall enough, hot enough, or wealthy enough you don't even need to care about those other areas. Women have made it clear what they want, and we can either adjust to their demands or accept a life without them.