The Danger Time
For those of you who are inexperienced with how men think, I am going to turn you onto some game here:
Do not mess with a man when he is first waking up or when he is getting home from work. There are no good endings to this course of action.
When I wake up in the morning, the following three things get done, in order:
- Adjust my massive boner
- Piss
- Make a mental list of all the ass kicking I have to get done that day
If you have a problem that you want me to help you solve or a concern that you need addressed, for fucks sake, do not do it anywhere between steps one through three. If you make this mistake, you run the very real risk of going from “I have a problem that I need your help with” to “I am a problem that you need to solve” and men are very direct when it comes to solving problems and you might not like the solution.
When I am returning home from work, the following things are on my mind:
- Are there any asses that remain un-kicked that I need to add to tomorrow’s list?
- How much more ass do I have to kick before I can relax?
If a man comes home and the first thing he hears is bitching and nagging, congratulations! You just stood in the way of him and his relaxation. You just added more ass to kick to his list. If you waited 30 minutes for him to get comfortable and maybe crack a beer before you started your incessant harping, just fucking maybe he wouldn’t have called you a stupid cunt and then dealt with your problem in the most brutal, direct, and effective way possible, Amanda.
They say that “timing is everything”, and in the case of getting a man to deal with your problems as opposed to seeing you as the problem, it truly is.
