Fat shamed? You SHOULD be.

Let me begin by saying this: you are not your BMI. You are a whole and complex person who has value outside of your physical appearance.

With that said, you should be ashamed for being overweight/obese. If you do not have the wherewithal to feel shame, then other people should shame you since you cannot be trusted to manage your own life.

I am going to tell you about some uncomfortable numbers. 37% of black men and 55% of black women are obese. This should be, by any metric, unacceptable. The entire obesity epidemic in the black community is exacerbated by the idea that it is okay to be obese/overweight and that it is desirable.

It is not.

Obesity is the most unattractive physical feature a person can have — it demonstrates a lack of discipline (in either diet or commitment to exercise) and a complete disregard for oneself. We are big on the “self love” and the “made in gods image” thing in our community, like those are magic words that will replace the value of having a fit healthy body or will somehow make other people ignore our obesity. The reality is that obesity is not only unattractive, it is unhealthy. Even a total misanthrope should feel some sort of motivation to work on one’s body, even if it is for their own personal benefit.

When I see an obese person, I make value judgments about them. I see someone who doesn’t care enough about themselves to maintain the one body that they have. I see someone who would rather indulge in excess than have some moderation since most obesity isn’t caused by lack of exercise, but instead by an excess of caloric intake (and don’t go blaming “muh genetics” because the CDC — you know, the disease guys — have ruled that out.)

I see someone that I wouldn’t want to associate with because of their choices. Sure, they may be wonderful people but I don’t really care to get to know them because what I have assessed thus far tells me that they don’t care about the things I care about.

And that is what it comes down to — obese people not wanting to suffer the social consequences of their decisions. They have already accepted the personal consequences and how it has damaged their health but they do not want to suffer the social consequences that come with being obese. They do not want other people to judge them for their choices and to treat them as if they haven’t spent their lives making continually shitty and selfish choices in regards to their diet. They would rather start healthy at any size (HAES) movements to try to normalize being obese and put it on the same footing as being fit. Sorry, that is not how this works — you cannot con people into accepting things that we are wired to find unattractive.

So if you are ever feeling like you are being fat shamed, good. You should be.